11화 11년

며칠 뒤 Kate는 공장 손익자료를 받으러 혼자 다시 갔다.

박 사장은 거래처를 만나러 나가 있었다.

Lin이 사무실에 있었다.

Kate는 자료를 확인하다가 물었다.

“박 사장님 언제 들어와요?”

“한 시간쯤 걸릴 거예요.”

Lin이 차를 가져왔다.

Kate는 한동안 숫자를 봤다.

그러다가 고개를 들었다.

“제가 하나 물어봐도 돼요?”

Lin이 Kate를 봤다.

“박 사장님하고 오래 일했죠?”

“네.”

“예전 회사 있을 때부터.”

“네.”

Kate는 잠깐 망설였다.

식당에서 본 것.

전화가 왔을 때의 표정.

아이들 이야기를 이미 알고 있던 것.

각각은 아무것도 아닐 수 있었다.

그런데 한꺼번에 놓으면 조금 달랐다.

Kate가 말했다.

“두 분이 그냥 같이 일한 사이만은 아닌 것 같아서요.”

Lin은 바로 대답하지 않았다.

컵을 내려놓았다.

“그렇게 보였어요?”

“조금요.”

Lin은 한동안 창밖을 봤다.

그러다가 말했다.

“맞아요.”

생각보다 조용한 대답이었다.

Lin은 변명부터 하지 않았다.

“처음부터 그런 건 아니었어요.”

Kate는 말없이 들었다.

“처음에는 진짜 불쌍했어요.”

Lin이 조금 웃었다.

“한국에서는 부장이었는데 여기서는 아무것도 못 했으니까.”

은행 업무도 몰랐다.

관공서에서 무슨 말을 하는지도 몰랐다.

거래처가 거짓말을 해도 알아채지 못했다.

돈이 부족해서 직원 월급을 맞추려고 자기 돈을 넣던 달도 있었다.

공장 월세를 못 낼까 봐 며칠씩 잠을 못 자던 때도 있었다.

Lin은 그걸 다 봤다.

“자꾸 도와주다 보니까 나 없으면 큰일 날 것 같았어요.”

Kate가 물었다.

“그래서 계속 남았어요?”

“처음에는요.”

Lin이 말했다.

“그다음에는 내가 이 공장을 같이 만들었다는 생각도 들었고요.”

그 말은 틀리지 않았다.

서류상 공장의 주인은 박 사장이었다.

그런데 Lin이 없었다면 지금의 공장이 있었을지는 알 수 없었다.

Kate가 물었다.

“언제부터 다른 관계가 된 거예요?”

Lin은 고개를 저었다.

“모르겠어요.”

“어느 날 갑자기 그런 건 아니고요?”

“아니요.”

처음에는 연민이었다.

그다음에는 책임감이었다.

박 사장은 어려운 일이 생길 때마다 Lin부터 찾았다.

Lin에게도 박 사장은 사장이면서 자기 말을 가장 많이 듣는 사람이 됐다.

둘이 함께 버텨낸 시간이 쌓였다.

Lin이 말했다.

“그 사람이 나한테 기대는 게 싫지 않았어요.”

“처음에는 내가 도와주는 사람이라고 생각했고.”

Kate가 물었다.

“나중에는요?”

Lin이 조금 웃었다.

“나중에는 나도 기대고 있었겠죠.”

Kate가 말했다.

“가족이 있는 건 처음부터 알았죠?”

“네.”

대답은 바로 나왔다.

“아이들 있는 것도 알았어요.”

“그런데도요?”

Lin은 고개를 끄덕였다.

“그래서 우리가 잘했다고 생각하지 않아요.”

Kate가 물었다.

“후회해요?”

“해요.”

“그런데 계속 만났고요.”

“네.”

Lin은 그 2개를 모순이라고 생각하지 않는 것 같았다.

“사정이 있다고 잘못이 없어지는 건 아니잖아요.”

잠깐 뒤에 덧붙였다.

“그런데 사정이 없었던 것도 아니고요.”

Kate는 그 말을 오래 기억할 것 같았다.

그날 저녁 박 사장도 먼저 이야기를 꺼냈다.

Lin에게 들은 모양이었다.

“알게 됐죠?”

Kate가 말했다.

“네.”

박 사장이 한동안 말이 없었다.

“욕해도 돼요.”

“제가 왜 욕해요.”

“다들 속으로는 하잖아요.”

Kate는 잠깐 생각했다.

“잘했다고 생각하지는 않아요.”

박 사장이 씁쓸하게 웃었다.

“그렇겠죠.”

“그런데 그냥 외로워서 그런 관계가 됐다고 생각하지도 않아요.”

박 사장이 Kate를 봤다.

“Lin한테 들었어요?”

“조금요.”

박 사장은 창밖을 봤다.

“공장 시작할 때 진짜 아무것도 없었어요.”

Lin이 계약서를 봤다.

세금 문제를 해결했다.

돈을 떼일 뻔했을 때 찾아왔다.

박 사장이 아프면 병원에 데려갔다.

직원들이 한꺼번에 그만두겠다고 했을 때는 몇 시간씩 직원들하고 이야기했다.

박 사장이 말했다.

“그 사람이 내 편이라는 생각을 많이 했어요.”

Kate가 물었다.

“가족은 박 사장님 편이 아니었다고 생각했어요?”

박 사장은 바로 고개를 저었다.

“아니요.”

조금 있다가 말했다.

“멀리 있었던 거죠.”

그리고 덧붙였다.

“나도 멀리 있었고.”

처음 공장을 시작했을 때 박 사장은 가족을 중국으로 데려올 생각이었다.

1년쯤 자리를 잡으면 된다고 생각했다.

그런데 1년이 지나도 공장은 안정되지 않았다.

2년째에는 빚이 남아 있었다.

3년째에는 거래처가 늘면서 오히려 떠날 수 없게 됐다.

그 사이 아이들은 학교를 옮기기 어려운 나이가 됐다.

아내도 한국에서 다시 일을 시작했다.

박 사장은 한 달에 한 번씩 한국에 갔다.

금요일 밤 비행기를 타고 들어가 일요일 밤에 돌아왔다.

그것도 점점 어려워졌다.

납기.

직원 문제.

돈.

거래처.

한 달에 한 번이 2달에 한 번이 됐다.

아이들이 어릴 때는 영상통화도 자주 했다.

나중에는 시간이 맞지 않았다.

한국에서 전화가 오면 대부분 해결해야 할 일이 있었다.

학원비.

대출.

보험료.

아이들 등록금.

장모 병원비.

박 사장은 돈을 보내는 것이 자기 몫이라고 생각했다.

그래서 보냈다.

더 벌려고 더 일했다.

그러다 어느 순간부터 가족과 연결되어 있다는 느낌보다,

가족을 유지하는 비용을 보내는 사람이라는 느낌이 더 커졌다.

박 사장이 말했다.

“어느 때는 내가 통장 같았어요.”

Kate는 그 말을 그대로 받아들이지 않았다.

“아내분은 박 사장님 없는 동안 실제 생활을 혼자 굴렸잖아요.”

박 사장이 고개를 끄덕였다.

“알아요.”

“아이 둘 키우면서요.”

“그때는 잘 몰랐죠.”

박 사장이 중국에서 공장을 지키는 동안,

한국의 아내도 자기 쪽에서 가족의 생활을 지키고 있었다.

아이들 학교 문제.

병원.

집안의 크고 작은 결정.

남편에게 하나하나 물을 수 없어서 혼자 결정하는 데 익숙해졌다.

그동안 박 사장은 그 생활에서 점점 멀어졌다.

누가 일부러 밀어낸 것은 아니었다.

그런데 결과적으로는 그렇게 됐다.

서로 자기가 감당한 일은 선명했다.

상대가 감당한 일은 잘 보이지 않았다.

Kate가 물었다.

“한국으로 돌아갈 생각은 없어요?”

박 사장이 한참 있다가 말했다.

“요즘은 해요.”

예전에는 중국을 떠나는 것이 공장을 포기하는 것처럼 느껴졌다.

지금은 상황이 달랐다.

중국 생산 자체가 줄고 있었다.

세한뿐만 아니었다.

거래처들이 베트남과 인도네시아를 보기 시작했다.

박 사장도 알고 있었다.

한국에서 중국으로 생산이 넘어왔던 것처럼,

이번에는 중국에서 다른 나라로 옮겨가고 있었다.

Kate에게는 처음 보는 일이 아니었다.

어릴 때 한국에서 사라진 봉제공장 이야기를 많이 들었다.

지금 중국에서 비슷한 일이 벌어지는 것 같았다.

공장은 움직였다.

그곳에서 살아온 사람들은 바로 움직일 수 없었다.

박 사장이 말했다.

“공장을 줄이고 한국에 있는 시간을 늘려볼까 해요.”

Kate는 바로 대답하지 않았다.

그 말을 Lin은 어떻게 들을지,

한국의 아내는 어떻게 들을지,

박 사장 자신은 정말 돌아갈 수 있을지,

아직 아무것도 정해지지 않았다.

English

A few days later, Kate went back to the factory alone to pick up its **profit** and loss records.

Mr. Park was out meeting a business partner.

Lin was in the office.

Going through the records, Kate asked.

"When will Mr. Park be back?"

"It'll be about an hour."

Lin brought over some tea.

For a while, Kate looked at the numbers.

Then she looked up.

"Can I ask you something?"

Lin looked at Kate.

"You've worked with Mr. Park for a long time, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Since you were both at the old company."

"Yes."

Kate hesitated for a moment.

What she had seen at the restaurant.

The look on his face when the phone rang.

The way Lin had already known about the children.

Each thing on its own could mean nothing.

But put together, they looked a little different.

Kate said.

"It just doesn't seem like you two only worked together."

Lin did not answer right away.

She put down her cup.

"Did it look that way?"

"A little."

For a while, Lin looked out the window.

Then she said.

"You're right."

It was a quieter answer than Kate had expected.

Lin did not start with excuses.

"It wasn't like that from the start."

Kate listened without a word.

"At first, I really felt sorry for him."

Lin smiled a little.

"Although he'd been a senior manager in Korea, here he couldn't do anything."

He did not know how to deal with the bank.

He did not understand what people at government offices were saying.

When business partners lied to him, he could not tell.

There were months when money was so short that he put in his own money to pay the workers.

There were times when he could not sleep for days, afraid he would not be able to pay the factory's rent.

Lin saw all of it.

"I kept helping him, and after a while it felt like things would fall apart without me."

Kate asked.

"So that's why you stayed?"

"At first."

Lin said.

"After that, I also started to feel that I had built this factory with him."

What she said was not wrong.

On paper, the owner of the factory was Mr. Park.

But if Lin had not been there, no one could say whether the factory would be what it was now.

Kate asked.

"When did it become a different kind of **relationship**?"

Lin shook her head.

"I don't know."

"It didn't just happen one day?"

"No."

At first, it was pity.

Then it was a sense of responsibility.

Whenever something hard came up, Mr. Park went to Lin first.

And for Lin, Mr. Park became both her boss and the person who listened to her more than anyone else.

The hard times the two of them had gotten through together kept adding up.

Lin said.

"I didn't mind him leaning on me."

"At first, I thought I was the one doing the helping."

Kate asked.

"And later?"

Lin smiled a little.

"Later, I guess I was leaning on him, too."

Kate said.

"You knew from the start that he had a family, didn't you?"

"Yes."

The answer came right away.

"I knew he had children, too."

"And still?"

Lin nodded.

"That's why I don't think what we did was right."

Kate asked.

"Do you regret it?"

"I do."

"But you kept seeing each other."

"Yes."

Lin did not seem to think that those two things were in **conflict**.

"Having reasons doesn't make it right."

A moment later, she added.

"But that doesn't mean there were no reasons."

Kate felt that she would remember those words for a long time.

That evening, Mr. Park, too, was the first to bring it up.

He seemed to have heard about it from Lin.

"So now you know?"

Kate said.

"Yes."

For a while, Mr. Park said nothing.

"You can say bad things about me."

"Why would I say bad things about you?"

"Everyone does, inside their heads."

Kate thought for a moment.

"I don't think what you did was right."

Mr. Park gave a bitter smile.

"I'm sure you don't."

"But I don't think you two ended up that way just because you were lonely, either."

Mr. Park looked at Kate.

"Did you hear it from Lin?"

"A little."

Mr. Park looked out the window.

"When I started the factory, I really had nothing."

Lin went over the contracts.

She solved the tax problems.

When he almost lost money he was owed, she got it back.

When Mr. Park was sick, she took him to the hospital.

When the workers all said they would quit at once, she spent hours talking with them.

Mr. Park said.

"I often thought that she was on my side."

Kate asked.

"Did you think your family wasn't on your side?"

Mr. Park shook his head right away.

"No."

After a moment, he said.

"They were just far away."

Then he added.

"And I was far away, too."

When he first started the factory, Mr. Park planned to bring his family to China.

He thought he would only need about a year to get settled.

But even after a year, the factory was still not **stable**.

In the second year, he was still in debt.

In the third year, the number of business partners grew, which only made it harder for him to leave.

In the meantime, the children reached an age when it was hard to change schools.

His wife had also gone back to work in Korea.

Mr. Park went to Korea once a month.

He would fly in on Friday night and fly back on Sunday night.

Even that became harder and harder.

Deadlines.

Problems with workers.

Money.

Business partners.

Once a month became once every two months.

When the children were little, he often made video calls, too.

Later, their schedules did not match.

When a call came from Korea, it was usually about something that had to be taken care of.

Cram school fees.

The loan.

Insurance payments.

The children's **tuition**.

His mother-in-law's hospital bills.

Mr. Park thought that sending money was his job.

So he sent it.

He worked more to earn more.

Then, at some point, rather than feeling connected to his family,

he felt more and more like someone who sent home what it cost to keep the family going.

Mr. Park said.

"Sometimes I felt like a bank account."

Kate did not simply take those words as they were.

"While you were away, your wife kept everyday life running on her own."

Mr. Park nodded.

"I know."

"While raising two children."

"Back then, I didn't really understand."

While Mr. Park was keeping the factory going in China,

his wife in Korea was keeping the family's life going on her side, too.

The children's school problems.

Hospital visits.

Big and small decisions for the home.

Because she could not ask her husband about every single thing, she got used to making decisions alone.

All that time, Mr. Park moved further and further away from that life.

No one had pushed him out on purpose.

But in the end, that is how it turned out.

Each of them could clearly see what they themselves had to deal with.

What the other had to deal with was hard to see.

Kate asked.

"Don't you ever think about going back to Korea?"

After a long while, Mr. Park said.

"These days, I do."

In the past, leaving China had felt like giving up on the factory.

Now things were different.

Production in China as a whole was going down.

It was not only Seahan.

Business partners had begun to look at Vietnam and Indonesia.

Mr. Park knew it, too.

Just as production had once moved from Korea to China,

this time it was moving from China to other countries.

For Kate, this was not something she was seeing for the first time.

When she was young, she had heard many stories about sewing factories that disappeared from Korea.

Now something similar seemed to be happening in China.

The factories moved.

The people who had built their lives there could not move right away.

Mr. Park said.

"I'm thinking of making the factory smaller and spending more time in Korea."

Kate did not answer right away.

How Lin would take those words,

how his wife in Korea would take them,

whether Mr. Park himself could really go back,

none of it had been decided yet.